Love is not found in any ideal. It is not found in conforming to a standard. Love is an intention that determines our state of being in the world. It determines what we see and what we are able to create.
A life you love is created from the intention to choose love as often as possible. We can set this intention for ourselves. With enough practice, love can be our steadfast intention in every moment. Anyone can learn to do this.
Love is what we really seek in life without our even realising it. Tragically, we know so little about love. We undervalue it and consider it little more than a lofty aspiration. It would be nice to follow the teachings of Jesus and Buddha, but in the real world, we doubt there is room for love.
And yet all of life conspires to teach us how to love and be more loving. Learning about love is how we shift to higher awareness and higher consciousness. The universe is love, and when we shift towards love, we shift into harmony with nature. When we become at one with the greater divine love, we will have transcended our human ego.
Love consciousness – the way of Buddha, Lao Tzu, Jesus, Krishna – is a higher way of being in the world. It is a gateway to higher consciousness and enlightenment. Beyond love there is bliss and peace, and love is the gateway to these higher states of being.
The greatest service we can do for the world around us to learn to embody love. When we love, we become people who contribute love to the world. The more people who embody love, the closer we will get to heaven on earth.
From the perspective of love, we see the world from a higher, more divine perspective. Love vibrates at a higher level of resonance. When we choose love, we ourselves shift into the frequency of love. We become ourselves like the divine teachers and sages.
We get in life what we are. Our society is a product of the energy vibration of the average person. Raise the average, even by a tiny amount, and we create a revolution.
Our own shift towards love is a gift to the world. It is how we create a new world of possibilities through our own ability to create love as a possibility. Each time we choose love – when we choose to pick up a piece of litter, choose to listen instead of judge, choose to share instead of hoard, choose to honour our truth and intuition rather than ego and fear – we contribute to the greater love.
1. Love is a choice
Life doesn’t need to be so complicated. It’s just a matter of choosing love in every single moment. Creating a life you love is a choice. It is a matter of choosing what is loving to you, and saying no to what is unloving.
We do not choose our inspiration and true path, it chooses us. We do not choose what we are or to even be born – at least at the level of human reason. It is spirit that creates us and it is our spirit that chooses to live. Life/spirit creates us and we can only yield to our true nature or suffer the pains of resisting what is. And yet we choose how we interact with the flow of what is. We choose our intention. We choose love, or we choose fear.
We choose whether to love what we are or whether to fear, judge and hate. Choice is vital. It is how we evolve. As Gary Zukav writes, “the decisions that you make and the actions that you take upon the earth are the means by which you evolve.”
All choices are an act of creativity, because each choice creates a new reality. We are each the creators of our own experience. Even when we fail to choose we are actually making a choice. To experience love, we need to learn how to choose love in each moment. We need to focus our choices so they all work towards the creation of a life we love.
It isn’t enough to get your dream job or partner or house or body. It might seem like it would be effortless to find contentment in doing what you love and possessing what you love. But these are just opportunities to experience love. Love is not just an opportunity.
Love is not something that we can acquire. It is not something that is won. It is not a trophy or world record or balance sheet. It is an intention, an energy frequency, a state of being. And it must be created continually. It must be connected to in each moment. The love is always there. The only thing that changes is our ability to connect to love.
Doing what you love – following your passions, for instance – will create the opportunity for love, but it doesn’t create the love in and of itself.
Love isn’t automatic. The conditions for love can exist, and we can still be too caught up in fear to embrace these possibilities.
No goal or achievement can bring love into your life if love isn’t your clear, explicit, highest intention. If our intention is control, for instance, we are choosing from the fear of not having control. If we choose a career that we hope will protect us from failure, we will not create a life we love. The need for control at all costs will transform our dreams into nightmares. Choosing fear over love creates a life that makes us more afraid.
Doing what we love by itself isn’t enough. Following your dreams is not the complete recipe for creating a life we love. This is where it becomes so easy to get lost. The secret is this: we need to do what you love, WITH love. We need to learn, then, how to do things with love. This requires that we become masters of how to be loving. Very few of us know how to do this. We are much more practiced at judging and seeking control.
Love is a daily way of being in the world. Through love we can discover what we love, but to sustain the love we must be the continually creators of our connection to loving awareness. When we make each choice, we need to understand our intention. Is this loving? Am I open to learning about love? Or am I afraid? Am I trying to control?
Taking the time to discover our truth and true intentions is loving. Love is naturally curious and naturally wants to embrace the truth. When we love someone, we want to know everything about them. When we fear them, we shut out their truth.
If we decide we want to create a life we love, it is always only every because we love ourselves. The more we love, the more we value love. Tiny steps towards love fuel us. Every tiny shift is, however, a big leap.
Most of us look for permission to love ourselves from the outside world without knowing how to create love and a life we love. Love is allowing yourself to do what you love and be loved for who you are: giving yourself permission to choose love, and to love yourself, every hour of the day. When you choose love in each moment, a life you love is the natural product.
It is a mistake to believe that you need anyone’s approval for you to create a life you love. Wait too long for approval, and your life will soon be over.
We want a life we love, and yet we go about creating this life by avoiding our fears. We choose to react to our fears rather than to follow what brings love into our lives. We seek safety in ideals, believing that our failure to meet these ideas is what is blocking love from our lives.
Perhaps we fear poverty, rejection, or mediocrity, or humiliation. Or all four. We might fear failing to live up to expectations. We might fear our own self-reproach. Fear of not being good enough or capable enough or worthy enough is the thing that does the most to create a life that we hate.
Fear focuses our energy into getting validation rather than creating value. Fear makes us desperate for safety. Some people choose to look for safety in money. Some people seek it in fame or social respectability.
We live in an incredibly rich but rather impoverished society. It’s no surprise that we are restless and looking for what we want in the wrong places. We are trying to fill up on relish rather than offering ourselves the nourishment of a solid meal.
2. Love is created and is creative energy
Creating a life you love requires that you understand both love and creativity.
Our life is our greatest creation. We compose our life through the medium of our intention and our choices.
Most of the things we believe we want, however, are not going to come into our lives. They are not meant to. It is so easy to get out of touch with your truest desires and to replace them with ideals and obligations: with reactions to fear.
Action is instructive. It’s vital to act on your desires to test them and discover the truth about whether they really are what you wanted after all. Many of the things I’ve wanted have proven wrong for me. Without love, life is a burden, a torture. Vision without love is a recipe for chronic dissatisfaction. It is through testing my hypotheses that I have learned the truth. I’ve avoided the sadness of living under the shadow of a big “what if?” The value of love is something that life conspires to teach us when we are an active partner is the evolution of our consciousness.
Creativity requires taking action. It requires giving birth. It requires active discovery of the truth. The more we are connected to love, the less threatened we are by life. We are prepared to learn the truth and aren’t so terrified by it. We realise that we are always safe, and that truth lies on the other side of our fears. We don’t need control, because we have love. We no longer need the world to conform to our ideas of what would be safe for us.
Life can seem cruel until we discover that love is the real lesson: not winning, not triumphing. What would be far more cruel is for us to live our wrong lives and for life to exist to gratify our egos. For us to prefer fantasies is a sign of our ignorance of the truth of life and the true nature of our experience.
There is so much left for us to learn about love. The generous teachings of Jesus of Nazareth and Gautama Buddha are waiting for us all to embody them. They are widely available. Billions of people follow these teachings. And yet we devote so little time to their core message of embodying love. We focus on dogma, rules, fear and judgment and are misguided by the institutions that fail to celebrate the core messages sufficiently.
3. Love is not control
Creativity requires that we release our need for control. Many people are addicted to control. Our relationships are often characterised by power struggles and we want certainty and security from the outside world. This is what happens when we don’t feel certainty inside ourselves, when we lack a connection to self love or divine love.
Creativity requires that we are open. Control, however, makes us shut down. Control needs things to be a certain way. Control doesn’t want to see what might run contrary to the need for safety.
Openness to the truth – to new possibilities – is what makes creation possible. Creation requires that we connect to powers that are far beyond our human capacities for control. Nothing that is created is created simply by the power of our will and intellect. We need to connect to vastly greater forces. We need to allow creation to flow through us.
Needing to know whether or not you will succeed before you even get started guarantees failure. It will restrict your possible outcomes, because it will mean that you will only give what is safe, not what is necessary.
Creativity requires being prepared to be disappointed. Disappointment might feel like failure, but it is only a failure of life to conform to our exact expectations. What we are called to create in life is often far beyond our capacity for imagining it ourselves.
It is creative to embrace things as they are. Doing so creates value in what is. It is open to the truth of things. In being open, we align to the truth, rather than live in resistance to it.
The challenges of life are opportunities to create love. Each disappointment is a lesson in what we need to learn how to love. When we learn how to love, we create ourselves as a being that is capable of greater love. We recreate ourselves as we expand our capacity for love.
Creativity requires that we expect the unexpected. Often our ideas about how our life and success should manifest are quite incorrect. It may take far more time for you to find success than you imagine. It might take time for your true talents and abilities to grow, but in the end, they will no doubt far exceed what you ever imagined was possible.
The life that is best for us, and the life that is really meant for us, might not conform to our ideals. Fixed ideas are limits. Idealism is often routed in fear. Ideals and the truth are often very different from each other.
Love doesn’t need things to be a certain way
Love is beyond acceptance. It embraces things as they are, and expects that every apparent shortcoming is naturally balanced with a blessing.
Patience is an acceptance of the fact that there is a larger system, and that divine timing is more powerful than our ego’s need to have something right now.
Impatience comes from fear. If we believe we need to rush something to make it happen, it is because we don’t trust that something is so right for us that it is meant to be in our lives. An attitude of needing to be responsible for everything – to make everything happen – actually blocks the creative process. Creation flows through us. our task is to be opened and aligned: the show up and let the flow enter us and pass through us. We do not get to control all the details, and we do not succeed if we try to conform the world to our every need.
All things that we create take their own time. Rushing their gestation can kill the creative unfolding.
4. Love is honest
Allowing yourself to feel how you feel – to be honest about what you want and what inspires you – gives you the power to focus your energy in the direction that aligns to your truth. Love and truth are connected, because love is the truth.
The more honest we become, the more focused we become. Focus brings creative energy. It brings inspiration.
Honesty makes things happen faster. It does away with fear and the struggles and distractions that fear brings. Fear holds us back because it ties up our energy and power in doing the things that we think we need to do in order to be safe. Pursuit safety makes us a slave to fear.
It’s a mistake to overlook your desires because you think there is something wrong with them. Perhaps you think they are ridiculous? Too ambitious? Sinful? Egotistical? Irresponsible? Our desires don’t have to be any of those things is they are honest expressions of what inspires us. As we learn to live from love, we come to understand whether our desires are honest or dishonest. We avoid all the potential shortfalls when our intention is pure and loving. If we trust ourselves to be loving and honest, we have nothing to fear.
An authentic desire emanates from your soul. Creativity flows through you. You are not the source. You are simply the conduit. But you need to be connected to your soul in order to create. You need to be connected to higher truth, which is radiantly honest.
Creating our life plans from reason and a need for control and security never works out. Trying to substitute for your heart’s desires is a recipe for a life you hate. Listening to your voice and feeling your energy when you talk about and think about certain goals and plans can tell you a great deal about your real feelings. Rational goals are draining. Dismissing your truth is self-destructive.
Any desire that comes from fear and the ego will never create a life you love. The pleasure of ego is fleeting and only makes us more fearful. Only through a loving intention can we create a life we love. Nothing that we create from a place of ego, ambition, jealousy, greed or cheating will bring us love. Our cheating only cheats ourselves.
Our mind and awareness is naturally creative. We create whatever we see in the world. We create our judgments and our fears. Focusing on negative emotions turns us into the person or thing that we are most critical of. We need to be very careful what we criticise, because the critical energy conforms us to our critical expectations. We become the negative that we see in the world. To live from love, we need to shift into the intention to love. We need to learn to shift out of our fears and observe them with curiosity – as gifts and lessons in what we still need to learn about love.
It is possible to us to sabotage our desires by our subconscious belief that what we want for our lives is impossible. Unconscious believes that don’t support our vision will undermine us, and create mixed results. Honesty creates clarity. We need to make a point of getting clear both about what we want and what we believe is possible, rooting out our deep, hidden, limiting beliefs. Otherwise the conflict will create incredible creative blocks.
If our desire is to impress people, we need to be honest about that. Only through honesty can be learn the truth. Only then can we move past this desire and move from the intention to impress people to a higher intention: the intention to inspire people. Love shifts us from wanting to take from others: to get attention, love and admiration, to wanting to offer the world something: love, inspiration, knowledge.
The frustrated artist knows the feeling of conflict that is at battle when you vision for what you want to create challenges your negative beliefs about yourself and what it’s possible for you to create both in your art and your life. Negative beliefs normally win out.
Negativity is dishonest. It is unbalanced. We need to bring honesty to our dishonesty if we are to balance ourselves out and transcend the old polarity.
It causes us great anxiety to challenge our oldest beliefs about ourselves. Negative beliefs are our protection. We identify with the negativity, embodying it, so that it feels less threatening to us.
Our beliefs largely determine our experiences. People who expect to be treated badly usually are. In their world, this is the truth. We are all guilty of creating negative outcomes for ourselves to some degree.
Negative beliefs about ourselves may well be the way in which we first bonded with the world around us. To go against old criticisms, rejections and doubts would be to challenge our whole way of relating to the world. Letting go of old beliefs can bring up great anxiety. But until we release the conflict between what we want to create, and what believe we can create, we will remain in deadlock.
Continual mixed messages will only send you in circles. We can wait around like helpless children for the praise we’ve always craved but never came. Or we can actively start to support ourselves with our own conscious and consistent self-approval. We can learn to connect directly to love by knowing that love is something we can always choose in each moment, if we are willing.
Time spend conjuring your desires in your mind on a regular basis makes you increasingly comfortable with their possibility. They become less and less intimidating. The more honest we are, the more comfortable we become with being honest.
It’s important to honestly observe how your choices are making you feel. It doesn’t matter how much you believe you love something or someone, if it is making your sick and unhappy, something vital isn’t working. Something important needs to change.
Perhaps the dream needs to be rebuilt or substantially renovated? Perhaps the relationship needs space for your to get perspective?
Enthusiasm is honest excitement. It means we are connected to something that is real and vital for us. Enthusiasm fills us with divine energy. Following enthusiasm will guarantee that we create a life we love.
To choose love, we must choose what excites us, surprises us, fills us with energy. Spontaneity is inspiring. Love is energising, and we know we are inspired by love when we feel enthusiasm.
5. No one will give you approval to be honest and loving
Being honest can upset people. When we are loving towards ourselves, we will stop tolerating unloving behaviour from everyone. This can lead to conflict and the loss of important relationships.
Many people will believe that we are insane or idiotic for even imagining that we can create a life that is satisfying to us. They will believe we are selfish for devoting ourselves to our burning desires. They will hate us for not allowing them to treat us however is most convenient to them in each moment.
It is painful to realise that the people who are most important to us might not support us or believe in us. If these people do not live from love, they may be afraid of what love might do to challenge our connection to them.
Honesty will requires letting go of what is dishonest. Releasing illusions can be painful. But if we are connected to love for what we are doing, and feel inspired by our new path, we won’t give it a second thought. The love we feel will be greater than the sadness of discovering the truth that people do not love us as we really are.
6. Love requires discernment
Anything that undermines you and your dreams will need to be removed from your life. Anything that doesn’t support you has the potential to hold you back. Addictions, dysfunctional relationships, disorder and chaos are all things hat can drain our energy away from our dreams.
Choosing love requires saying no to what doesn’t support us in honouring our truth and talents. If we worship our fears, we cannot live from love. We need to become conscious of what our values are and choose actions that reflect love as our highest value.
You will need to give yourself permission to be discerning. No all situations and relationships give us room to say no without creating serious disruptions. The popular modes of being in the world: consuming, climbing and achieving are not loving, but letting go of these unloving agendas will be widely questioned by people about whom we might very much care.
Consumerism and clutter create stagnant, fearful energy. A house that is cluttered with unnecessary items blocks your life from welcoming new, more suitable and desirable energy. When we empty our lives of our fear-based attachments, we can open ourselves up to the things we most deeply and sincerely crave.
Our dreams require our full energy. If our energy is being drained, then we cannot give our best to realising our visions and to offering love to the world.
We are the ones who have to step up and fulfil our deepest desires and needs. The process of creating a life we love for ourselves teaches us just how much power we have without ourselves.